Famous and Amusing Dating Quotes
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." * Tom Clancy
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL." * Lynn Lavner
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." * George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." * Sharon Stone
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ~ no matter what she's reading." * Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)
"Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." * Robin Williams
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." * Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." * Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" * Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.'" * Jerry Seinfeld
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." * Rod Stewart
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." * Robin Williams
“A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones”. * cher
And not so famous, nor so funny…
"We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for our ability to amuse them."
- Evelyn Waugh –
"The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet and steady
and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.."
- Mark Twain –
"Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend."
- Martin Luther King, Jr. –
"The only way to have a friend is to be one."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson –
"To find a friend one must close one eye; To keep him, two.."
- Norman Douglas –
Search
Calendar
| Mo | Tu | We | Th | Fr | Sa | Su |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | ||
| 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
| 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 |
| 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 |
| 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 |
Mike@CambridgeDiets.Co.Uk
Addictions information
- BBC addictions information (****)
Another very inspiring vlcd blog
Subscribe by email
You can receive the posts of this weblog by email.
Friends (17)
quotes about dating
title-976984
Rose Tinted glasses or Critical Eye?
“Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
– Josh Billings, humorist
This blogger says,
"keep looking from far away"
I like blogging because......
Do you know i like blogging because
i am laying my life out on a platter for your delectation and ....
You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips. -- Oliver Goldsmith (1728-1774) Irish Writer
Funny Friends
I do have friends already.
In fact, I have some nice friends.
Some send me funny emails, like this one.
<u> Did I read that sign right? </u>
In a building:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Genie
A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.
The genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a
storybook myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So... what'll it be?"
The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about
world peace and harmony."
The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years.. I'm good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable."
The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know - one that's considerate and fun, romantic, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is good in bed, and gets along with
my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That is what I wish for...a good man."
The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see the blooming map again."
The Plan
July 2006. Why seek Love and Friends?
I've been single for 6 years now. The longest that i've ever been single before was for about 3.5 years.
That was 21 years ago and those years alone seemed like forever. After that, I lived with someone for 9 years. He proposed marriage after 6.5 years and i bottled it! When it came to the crunch, I didn't want to marry him, it seems. I wondered on-and-off what i was doing with him for the next 2.5 years, until he left me.
After a wonderful casual-and-very-much-fun year long fling with a man younger than myself, i met 'the one'.
After a proposal of marriage, and my acceptance, we moved to Spain to live in the winter and came back here to England in high summer.
Lovely.
Lovely pool, lovely villa, lovely sunshine.
Horrible man, awful family, horrible experience.
We never did get married.
At the time, and for the first three years afterwards, i was devastated. Now i thank the heavens that i escaped and have my sanity back.
Now I'm 41. I dont believe in 'the one' anymore. I dont think that i even believe in marriage anymore. And i've had too much therapy to be adoring and devoted to any man again. I am so different now, after seven years of therapy, that i wonder what i am like, actually.
I'm independent, yes. I have to be. I have own house, pay the bills, run the home and car, am self employed and all that entails. But please do not confuse me with a dynamic independent forty something high-flyer, who knows herself and won't take any shit and has got all of her life sorted out thank-you and if you, as a man, want to be my accessory occasionally, have a go. In fact "Go on punk, make my day". Ha ha. No. Not me. I must say that i feel extremely inferior to those women. I've seen them. I know they exist. I was browsing an internet dating site yesterday, smart-dating.com
www.smart-dating.com is a fully featured dating website designed for smart people like you! Mary Balfour, the founder describes her webiste as: a website and Internet dating agency for smart people everywhere.Browsing through the profiles of other women my age, i came across these few gems:
Classy chick: Tall, blonde, sexy female, single with no dependants. Pretty easy going, looking for a relationship with a tall attractive man who is emotionally secure, ambitious & dynamic but also caring & considerate with a good sense of humor. I’m equally 'at home' in Wellington’s or a ball gown (sometimes both! enjoy most things such as sports, cooking, shopping, wild nights out & cozy nights in, pillow fights & shared candlelight baths.
Dream Beautiful: Hi, i love reading from Jung to the Beano, keeping fit, socialising and travel. I am a lecturer in Psychology and drama, an ex dance teacher, and enjoy the theatre, dance, art and music. I like travel, laughter and just being silly and having fun. I would idealy like to meet someone who is attractive, funny and creative with a real passion for life, someone with integrity, who is honest and wants an amazing relationship!!!
Millionairess Lottery Winner: assistance required. Personality described as being predominately outgoing with a good sense of humour. Attracted to humour and wit. If you can make me laugh, we'll be off to a good start. Personable and described as 'pretty' and slightly curvy (all that chocolate and fine red wine is to blame!). Emotionally, I am strong, confident and independent. Looking for intelligent man with a 'twinkle' in his eye, good social network, interests and sense of fun and adventure. Would like to try lots of new things with an ...
Anyone sensible out there?: Seem to have become a magnet for slightly pervie older men (don't mean to sound ungrateful but I'm not ready for a man with a cravat and world of leather tan) My 11 year old son lives part time with me and part time with his Dad, so I have more free time than the average single muvver. I do all sorts of stuff but it would be good to share experiences with someone - preferably closer in age to me than my Grandad!
I search in myself for someone: All our life is devoted to searches.... In the beginning we search Itself in Itself, then ourselves in someone the other... Now I search in myself for someone... But my soul is empty and lonely. I invite to visit my world of the person inspired by kindness and generosity of soul.))) I also searches.... devoted,careful, responsible, reliable, sexual and generous!!!! And suddenly I shall meet you, fantastic!!!
Where are you Romeo?:This is hard! Your first impression of me would be that I am cool, friendly, well educated, laugh easily and fairly independent. I’m slim and fairly stylish, though no slave to fashion. Most people say that I’m good company and a stimulating conversationalist. When you get to know me better you’ll find that I’m very soft centred - romantic, loving, passionate and loyal. Despite my independence (I can even sort out spiders in the bath without screaming and without killing them) I would love t ...
Trouble: I am looking for a man who would like to share his life in bad and good times. I do not drink alcohol and I am no-smoker but it is said I am understanding. I am 41, I am divorced in last century - it is long time ago.I am just studying English and looking for a good job in London.I worked in a company to merger and acquitision as a financial analytist in the Czech Republic.I am living near Weybridge but I would like to move to London and it depends at job.It is just not easy life for me but I am optimist and I know what I want and of course encluding a strong intelligent man who likes people and love me
Petrol pumps?: I am trying this site to meet new people as it seems quite difficult with a busy work schedule that often takes me abroad and friends that are very important to me. I work for a campaigning organisation that investigates corruption in developing countries and love my job. I studied languages at university and still really enjoy travelling (if I didn't I'd have to find another job!) and meeting people from different backgrounds and cultures. I am passionate about the arts, especially, films, music and books. I love dancing, both doing and watching. I also enjoy my food, particularly Spanish/French. I often feel the need to escape London into the great outdoors, particularly for walking (mountains or seaside are my favourites, even better if there's a nice pub at the end!).
Music Biz: am very caring, considerate and conscientious with an independent and lively spirit. I am confident without being brash but strangely also a little shy! Music has been and is a very important part of my life. I am a classically-trained musician and so my iPod is a classical-free zone to make sure I listen to other styles of music. My taste ranges from Radiohead to Wagner, Bach to the Beatles, Puccini to Rufus Wainwright with a bit of Stevie Wonder and Coldplay in for good measure. I have a successful career on the management side of the music business and so get to travel with my work which I love. I do like comfort when I travel for business or leisure so if you like slumming or trudging through the jungles of Borneo then I’m not right for you! My favourite places so far are Berlin, New York, LA (the sunshine), the empty beaches of North-West Scotland and the Alps. I would love to drive from Vancouver to San Diego taking in the coast and making detours to the wine valleys of California. I enjoy good food, good wine and the company of my family and friends. I am equally at home dressing up for the opera and dressing down for a comedy night. I love going to the cinema and have built up quite a collection of DVDs. I enjoy quieter things too – a good book, tracing my family tree (fascinating), a walk in the country. I like to take photographs,
Economist: I am a busy but non-rat-race professional. My time is mostly taken up with the big picture but I also like to get engrossed in the finer details of life. I like kickboxing and arguing about international affairs as much as entertaining and holding hands. An old fashioned girl at heart, I often wish I were living in the 18th Century when everyone had good manners and dressed for dinner. The small fact that I would have been a slave diminishes this reverie somewhat but that aside I like to preserve some of what was good about the good old days while also blazing trails and welcoming new inspirations. Although my work is almost purely a pleasure for me I know when to draw the line. I have been a TV news anchor and a corporate PR exec and now an "unnatural" businesswoman only because it allows me the freedom to choose the work I want to do for the people I want to work with.
Lawyer: I am quite recently single again - having great fun and want even more! I ski, run, walk and climb. I enjoy having friends to dinner,walking on Irish beaches, sunsets, eating hot chips in cold weather, impossibly expensive clothes and cheap hardware shops. I read and listen to music and hardly ever switch on a television. I would rather eat my own toes than watch football or go to Bluewater. I work in the City and live in the centre of London but enjoy the countryside whenever I can.
All of these women have Masters Degrees, except for "Petrol Pump" who has a PhD. Most are fit, lim and gorgeous, and high earning, well respected professionals. Hmmmm, do you get the feeling i don't stand a chance? I do. I went to bed last night depressed, and i awoke this morning worried. Admitedly, these that i have selected are the cream of the crop. But, they are representitive of roughly 25% of the population on that particular website. Me thinks that i have a lot of work to do if i am to attract the kind of man that i am attracted to myself.Crystal J: Small sweet female seeks lovely man. I am fun, feisty and passionate about life with a truly positive outlook. I love sunny days in London, that first moment when you step of the plane in a hot country and the heat washes over you like a warm blanket, looking at a menu and realising there are at least 10 things I want to eat on it RIGHT NOW, the first mouthful of a nice cold glass of white wine and cuddling up in front of some truly compelling reality TV show (The Apprentice rules and Sir Alan rocks my world!) I am looking for a man who loves all of the above and more. Who knows his own mind and can help me make up mine. Who has a great sense of humur, particularly about himself. Who is confident kind and caring - without being a total girl obviously!
So here's the plan.
1) Lose weight: That is under construction as we speak - see my other blog for details
http://detersdrasticdietingdiaries.blog.co.uk/2006/05/I should be at a weight that is reasonable for dating, some time in january or february 2007. That is, then, 6 months away.
2) Deal with other body issues: Have my teeth done. Yes, i have tried to have them whitened by lazer at £500 per go, but it could not be done because i had to stop it for i was in severe pain during the process. They couldn't find anything wrong, but i know that there is something. A second attempt was made some weeks later after using flouride applications three times daily. Same result. I came home and passed out again (fortunately i live next door to the dentist!). So, i've been thinking that i probably need porcelain veneers or something. Whatever, the solution, i need to go to a proper cosmetic dentist and see the consultant. And i should expect to pay a lot of money. My teeth are a nice shape, but they are now discoloured (they've always been a yellowy colour) a little chipped and i think there is something seriously wrong with the enamel. There is a cosmetic dentist in my area. Heres some stats: http://www.theperfectsmile.co.uk/services/smile-makeover.htm
3) Sort out the rest of my body: i may decide that i need breast implants, to help fill out any droopy bits left over from losing weight. I dont know aboutthis until i get near my final weight.
4) Exercise: I need to exercise and tone up wherever i can, as much as i can. Obviously there are limits. Having exercised on-and-off throughout my life, my body is not in bad nic, but its not great, either. Also, i'm not an athletic type, so i'm being realistic when i say that i will do as much as i can (without turning into a driven exercise fanatic)
5) Cultivate some interests so that they evolve into hobbies that i regularly partake in: Blogging is not a hobby that endears potential friends and partners to a person! Its such an introspective, lonesome activity. I will keep this blog up, though, to report my progress all the way through this journey - i won't abondon you readers, and leave you with half a story! No, something like, a) painting and drawing classes and join a club of same (there is one near to me). b) Join a gym - good for plan point 4, above, as well as a social life, and casual trivial conversation. c) keep up with current affairs. This means buying the weekend papers and reading more than 'Observer Woman' and using the rest to line the cat litter trays. d) join activity club. I thought about joining this one:
http://www.spiceuk.com/intro.asp6) Seek Partner if nec. If i am beginning to want to take seeking out a permanent partner more seriously, then i shall consider joining one of these
http://www.abia.org.uk/find_an_agency.htmlBut i won't be ready for anything like that until i am nicely practiced in mingling with people and socialising again. So folks, its looking like probably next spring (or late winter at the very earliest) before i start to make a move on my plan to find love and friends.
Wish me luck